A Clean Start
by bonnyblonde
Summary: Carol has fled Terminus before she can reunite with Daryl, determined to find her own way. But sometimes there's no escaping the inevitable, especially when the man who loves you can track through the woods with the best of them. A short story but now more than just a one-shot, Caryl angst and smut.
1. Chapter 1

_This was going to be a single-chapter one-shot, but as anyone who reads my stories well knows, I'm nothing if not verbose and so it's grown beyond that now. For those who have been patiently waiting, here is the first of two chapters of my latest story. Thanks due once again to my muse/Twitter wife **Jennifer Melton** for her divine inspiration! _

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_"What the hell?! Where's Carol gone?"_

_"She left, Daryl. It was her choice – she said she didn't feel like she belonged with the group anymore."_

_"Yeah? And did you try to tell her different, Rick? Or did you stand there lookin' at her as she handed over the daughter she helped save, the baby she killed others to protect, and just let her walk out those gates alone without sayin' a word?"_

_"She has to do what's right for her. If she'd have asked to stay, her and I would've sat down and discussed it. She didn't and so we said our goodbyes. You have to honour her decision."_

_"The fuck I do! And what the hell do you mean, youda 'discussed it?' She never wanted anythin' but to keep us all safe; she made the tough decisions when you was playing Ol' MacDonald all those months back at the prison, and you're __**still**__ condemning her?"_

_"That's not how it went. Look, man, I understand you're upset, but she thought it was for the best. It's not like I sent her away again..."_

_"No, but you damned sure didn't make her feel as though stayin' was a choice, did ya?! Which way'd she head? I'm goin' after her."_

_"I know you care about her, Daryl. But I can't let you do that..."_

_"Is that right? Well, how's about I put it a different way, then?!"_

* * *

Daryl flexed his bruised fist, wincing as the fresh cuts on his knuckles opened up even further. He shook his hand and put the pain on the back burner as he ran through the forest, his keen eye following the signs on the trail he was sure Carol had taken. He thought of Rick as a brother, he could honestly say that, but the man made some baffling decisions and the last couple had hurt someone that Daryl loved.

There it was at long last – the truth of the matter. It had taken a helluva long time for him to admit it to himself, but that cowardly shit was done. He loved Carol. If Rick wanted to put his loyalty to the test by leaving her to fend for herself a second time and force Daryl into a position of having to choose between them – well, Rick was going to be pretty fuckin' disappointed by the outcome. As it was, Daryl figured he'd sent him a fairly clear message in the form of a black eye and a bloody, swollen lip.

The sound of water grew increasingly louder as Daryl loped through the trees and he frowned to himself, wondering if there was a river with rapids nearby that could account for the noise. When he followed the tracks in the dirt and emerged from the woods, he found the source was a small waterfall, its mist catching the sunlight and creating wavering, shimmering rainbows in the air around him. The falls streamed from the rocky crags and stirred up a white, bubbly froth as they hit the small blue lake beneath.

He kept as still as he could, listening for indications of either human and walker presence. Apart from the rush of the churning water, there was nothing he could make out. Scanning the area, a patch of faded red on a nearby set of rocks caught his eye and he hustled along the edge of the pond to investigate.

It was a long sleeve t-shirt that had clearly seen better days, but one that was also achingly familiar for him. When was the last time he'd seen Carol wearing it? Daryl couldn't even remember. There were actually quite a few pieces of her clothing, now that he looked, damp and spread out over the rough grey rocks where the sun was beating down. Clearly, she'd taken advantage of the clean, clear water to do a little laundry. If her clothes were here, she was too, but as he gazed out around the lake he couldn't see any sign of her.

Just as he crouched down on the dark sandy shore to soothe his wounds in the water, Carol emerged naked from beneath the falls and Daryl's breath caught in his lungs at the sheer beauty of the sight. She had her face turned to the sky, the dark fan of her eyelashes kissing her wet cheeks as she smoothed the water back through her silvery tresses. Her breasts jutted upwards, her tiny rosy nipples tight from the cool breeze blowing across her body. There was an expression on her face halfway between relief and bliss as the water flowed around her narrow waist as she waded through it, and Daryl figured he'd not seen her look so calm since the world went straight to walker hell.

Part of him wanted to quietly back away and give her the few moments of tranquillity that she'd more than earned, but he was transfixed by her perfection. And she was perfect, or as near to perfect as Daryl could ever imagine a woman to be. It was more than just her body that kept him rooted in place, although seeing her in the nude was certainly having a powerful physical effect on him. There was a strength to her now, a serene confidence in who she was and how she looked, that called to him. For years, he'd wanted nothing more than to protect her. Now, he wanted – _needed _ – her in a way he'd never fully understood before.

When Carol finally spotted him where he sat on the rocky shore, she didn't suddenly duck into the water or turn away as he half expected. She didn't even seem surprised to see him – or happy either, much to his distress. Instead of approaching him, she casually swam to a grouping of rocks in the middle of the pond a ways from the falls. Closing her eyes, Carol reclined back against the smooth, black surface and relaxed as sunbeams caressed her pale, freckled face. He watched as her breasts rose and fell, sending little ripples through the water around her, and her long, lithe legs kicked lazily in front of her.

"What are you doing here, Daryl?" she said quietly, her words carried across the water to where he waited.

"I went lookin' for you. Rick told me you left, so I figured that he made you feel like you was unwelcome. I want you to come back with me. I promise, I'll make things right again," he said, confused by her lack of enthusiasm at seeing him. She'd always had a smile for him, always had a special light in her eyes when she looked at him, but none of that was in evidence now.

"You shouldn't have come," she replied, treading her arms slowly through the water on either side of her. She finally glanced over at him, but then quickly looked away again as though seeing him caused her pain. "That group...those people...that's not where I belong any more. I have to make a new life for myself, distance myself from everything that's happened. I'm washing myself clean of it all, in more ways than one."

"Washing yourself clean?" he echoed with wounded disbelief. "Of everyone who cares about you? Of all the people you fought for and killed to protect? Of _me_?"

Carol sighed heavily. "Of you most of all," she admitted before pushing away from the rocks and swimming slowly towards the falls again. "Go back, Daryl. Forget you ever found me. Forget _me._"

He almost reeled from the hurt she inflicted with her words, and his anger rose quickly in the wake of his anguish. "You figure it's that easy, do you? After everythin' we been through together, I'm just supposed to walk away and pretend none of it ever mattered?!"

She stopped and whirled around, glaring at him as she bobbed in place. "YES! Because none of it _did_ matter in the end, did it? Every sacrifice I made, every effort I put forward to improve our situation – and yeah, even the lives I took to try and stop the sickness – it meant nothing! All this time while you were busy desperately trying to prove to Rick that you had earned your place at his side, showing him and everyone else what a good little soldier you were, you never actually saw me at all or realized how so much of what I had done was really for _you_. So yes, I'm telling you to go. Because even if by some chance you finally understand what you meant to me, it's too late!"

Carol punctuated her sentence with a splash, diving beneath the surface and coming up several yards away. The sun's rays gleamed off her slick back and the smooth swell of her ass as she glided towards the falls and then disappeared back behind the rushing curtain of water.

Daryl stood in stunned silence, watching the spot where she'd vanished. His heart was racing but it was fear rather than anger that was driving it. Not fear for Carol's life, because he'd seen more than enough proof during the fight at Terminus that she was certainly capable of holding her own. No, fear for his _own_ life and what it would be like if Carol was truly gone for good.

She was right, he realized. He'd taken for granted the fact that she'd always be there, quietly doing her part and being around whenever he needed encouragement or support. In fact, Carol had been his anchor for so long that when Rick had sent her away and everyone had been scattered like seeds on the wind in the aftermath of the Governor's attack, he'd ended up completely adrift. There'd been no one to ground him any more, to provide that quiet backdrop against which he could think clearly and figure things out, and he'd wandered aimless through the days that had followed. Beth, the Claimers, even the remnants of the prison group and their new allies – not one of them had been able to ease the ache of Carol's absence.

But not once had Daryl even considered what it meant to _her_ to be close to him. How heartbroken she must have been when he'd taken off with Merle, how worried she must have been when they'd gone on a run and didn't return for days at a time, how devastated she must have been to be banished and not have him there to fight for her. How it felt to see the prison in ruins, not knowing whether he'd survived. How it must have hurt her deeply to see him at Terminus and realize that while he could have tracked her down if he'd tried, he hadn't looked for her at all.

No wonder she'd left afterwards. It'd had nothing to do with Rick; it was because of _him_ that she'd fled so quickly after the fight.

She had always loved him he same way he was only now realizing that he loved her, and he'd treated her as though those tender feelings were meaningless to him or worse, something that was no more than his due. Christ, he was _such_ a fuckin' asshole!

Daryl turned and strode a few feet into the woods, hiding his crossbow and weapons beneath some moist ferns and bushes. Once he decided that they were camouflaged enough that nobody would accidentally stumble upon them, he walked back towards the pond, stripping off his filthy clothes as he went. He was down to his raggedy underwear when his toes hit the edge of the water, and he paused for a moment before shrugging and discarding them too. Carol had dared to bare it all; he'd look like he was afraid or reluctant if he did anything less. If he was going to have any hope of salvaging what they had – what he hoped they_ could_ have – he couldn't hold anything back.

He moved into the middle of the pond, surprised to find that it wasn't as cold as he thought it would be. When he was up to his waist, he sank beneath the surface and submerged himself entirely. Blowing out some bubbles, he watched as they rose up and floated above him, moving lazily through the rays of light that speared down almost as far as the bottom. Given that baths were entirely a thing of the past and most personal grooming was limited to the occasional wipe with a damp rag, it was incredible to be surrounded by warm water. As he came up for air, he began to scrub away the dirt and blood that had coated his body and clung to his hair for what seemed liked years. It felt like a ritual, letting go of the horrors of the past and the worries for the future, and just focusing on the present. Almost like being reborn, he thought as he paddled towards the falls. No wonder Carol had seemed so much at peace before she'd realized he was there.

As Daryl reached his destination, he extended a hand forward and closed his eyes before stepping through to the other side. He was almost driven to his knees by the weight of the falling water but it lasted only a moment, and he continued forward until he felt slick stone against his outstretched palm. Flipping his hair out of his eyes and back over his head, he found himself in a small grotto lit with random shafts of sun that broke through both the waterfall itself and cracks in the crags above.

He spotted Carol instantly, her skin a stark contrast to the darkness of the rock. She was sitting on the edge of one of the ledges carved by erosion, staring down unhappily and dangling her feet in the water. She wasn't crying but then he figured that she'd probably finished shedding any tears over him long before now.

"Carol?" he whispered, his faint words echoing through the cavern. She immediately looked up, surprise that he'd followed her clear on her face.

"Why didn't leave like I told you to?" she asked, shaking her head as if his actions were beyond belief. "I don't want you here; don't you get that?" She pulled up her knees to her chest and hugged her legs against herself in a gesture that seemed defensive. Maybe it was, he realized sadly. Maybe she was trying to protect herself from any further pain he might cause. He'd more than earned that kind of reaction.

Daryl glided closer to where she sat and then gazed up at her from where he stood on a bed of smooth stones. From that sharp angle, most of her face was hidden behind her arms, but her startlingly pale eyes were visible. She stared down at him and he felt like a jerk all over again when he saw the despair in those sky-blue depths. "Will you let me have my say? If you still want me to go afterwards, I'll respect your wishes and you won't ever have to see me again. I know I ain't earned that right but will you listen?"

Her eyelids fluttered shut but she nodded faintly. Her arms tightened as though she was bracing herself for what he wanted to tell her, and uneasy tension practically radiated off her body. Another time and place, he might have tried to ease her distress by touching her but he resisted, knowing that wasn't going to help either of them at this point and would more likely just push her further away if he tried.

He clutched the edge of the outcropping with both hands so he didn't have to fight the mild current that was subtly trying to pull him away. "First off, I know it don't begin to make things better, but I gotta say that I'm sorry. There was a time, I think, when you an' me were there for each other – back at the farm, mebbe the first few months at the prison. I'd never had someone who cared for me like you did, who looked _after_ me, who made me feel like maybe I was worth somethin'. I never thought nothin' of it; you were always there for me, in a thousand different ways, and I just came to expect it after a while."

"You needed someone," she murmured, opening her eyes and looking down at him through the fringe of her dark, lacy lashes. "It was hard to see you hurting so badly all the time. You were going to self-destruct if someone didn't show you how much they cared."

A pang of guilt stabbed through his chest. "You needed someone too – I thought just by being there with you, it was enough. But when we talked, it was always 'cuz you were tryin' to help me. I didn't know how to do that for another person, how to say stuff that would make things any better for someone else."

She shrugged and he thought he saw a glint of moisture at the corner of her eye. "I expected too much from you, I think."

"No!" he said earnestly, hesitantly reaching out and laying his hand on one of her feet, caressing her toes with his thumb. "That's just it. You're the only one who ever expected _anythin'_ from me! You convinced me that I could be better than where I'd come from; you made me look at who I was and who I wanted to be. That I survived at all, that I was able to stay with the group – that's 'cuz of you! You say I was tryin' so hard to prove m'self to Rick and the others, but it was more about not wantin' to disappoint you, Carol."

She lifted her head slightly and rested her chin on her knees. "Whatever the reasons, I'm happy that you found your place. I don't begrudge you any of that."

"But?" he replied softly, knowing there was more than what she was saying.

Carol drew in an uneven breath. "But after a while, I became part of the background to you. You stopped seeing me, Daryl. I was no different to you than any of the others in our group. And that's what hurt the most, because for me..." she swallowed hard and her lower lip trembled slightly, "...you were always first in my thoughts. _Always_."

He felt sick, understanding the damage he'd done and witnessing her sorrow. "I was stupid. Blind. Selfish. All them things. I never stopped seein' you, but I didn't see you the way I should have. The way I see you _now_."

Her eyes drifted closed once more and this time the tears that clung to her lashes were impossible to miss. "Don't," she begged hoarsely. "It's not fair for you to say something like that to me after all this time. I have to look after myself now, don't you get that? There's not enough left of me to share with you or anyone else any more."

She pushed his hand off of her foot and began to move away, but he snagged her wrist and stopped her. "Come here...Carol, please?" He gently tugged on her hand and although she resisted at first, she eventually surrendered and let him urge her closer to the edge. When she was within reach, he slipped his hands around her waist and slowly lowered her into the water.

Carol stood stiffly before him, her gaze settling squarely on his chest as the water lapped at her shoulders. Knowing it was up to him to convince her of the sincerity of his words, he wrapped her in his arms and drew her close, nestling his cheek against the top of her head as he hugged her. "I don't deserve another chance but I'm gonna ask for one anyway. You said you wanna wash away all the stuff that's happened – mebbe you an' me can do that with our past, too. Let's make a clean start of it. Please."

She sighed shakily, her breath cool against his moist skin. "I don't know if I can..." she said hesitantly, but the muscles beneath his hands loosened a bit as he stroked her back and she gradually leaned into him. The slick feel of her soft, bare skin pressed against his was better than he could even have imagined, and he had suppress a groan as his body began to react predictably to the incredibly intimate sensation. He shuffled back slightly, hoping she hadn't noticed – the last thing he wanted was for her to think that he'd only chased after her for the sake of a quick lay.

He cupped her chin in his hand and tipped her head back so she had no choice but to look at him. "I love you," he said with quiet certainty. "You might not wanna believe me and I wouldn't blame you. Took me a long time to figure it out m'self and I get that it might be too little, too late but please...let me try and prove it to you. I can't promise that I ain't gonna fuck up sometimes but if you give me one more shot at it, I won't blow it again."

"I would have given anything once to have you tell me that you loved me," she said with a quaver in her voice that made his heart ache. "But now that you've actually said it..."

"You don't believe me," he finished for her, disappointed but not surprised that her reservations persisted.

Carol shrugged hopelessly and broke eye contact. "I know you care about me on some level, but I don't think we feel the same way about one another. And unless it's mutual – unless it's _really_ love – I'm not going to even start down that road. There'd just be more heartbreak for me at the end of it and I can't go through that again."

As frustrating as it was trying to convince her, Daryl refused to be discouraged. If he didn't make a case for himself soon, he knew for certain that she'd walk away from him and be gone for good. "I guess I suck with words, Carol. I don't what else to say, so how's about I just show you instead?"

He took a step back and lifted his hands to her face, tenderly cradling her jaw and staring down into the loveliest eyes any woman had ever had. She drew a startled breath but before she could give voice to her objections, he leaned in and kissed her softly, willing her to feel every overwhelming, genuine emotion that he'd been woefully unable to express any other way.

She didn't respond right away but he kept kissing her regardless, moaning at the velvety texture of her lips, the sweetness of her breath, the heat of her mouth. Then all at once she relaxed and was kissing him back, licking her way past his teeth and stroking his tongue tentatively with hers. She took a step closer, reaching for him in such a natural, instinctive way that when her small hand settled lightly against his broad chest, his heart actually skipped a beat.

When he slipped a hand around her waist and pulled her close, flexing his hips against hers, she broke the kiss with a startled gasp. Her eyes went wide and she stumbled back a bit, almost slipping on the stones beneath her feet. Daryl caught her by her upper arms, steadying her as she stared at him in astonishment. "You're...you're fully...aroused!"

He gave a short, wry laugh. "It ain't the first time that's happened 'round you, 'though I got real good at hidin' it when I had to. But can you blame me? God, Carol – you're so beautiful, more than I could ever say. I _want _you. With every part of me. I tried to keep myself under control while we was talkin' but once I touched you, I was lost. B'sides, you been prancin' around nekked since I got here. What the hell did you think was gonna happen when I saw the woman I love wearin' nothin' but her freckles?"

A sound broke from her throat that sort of sounded like a joyful sob, if such a thing was even possible. She covered her mouth with her hands and then threw her arms around his neck, wrapping herself around him and kissing him with all the passion that she'd denied herself for so long.

* * *

_Sweet loving ahead...stay tuned!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you to everyone kind enough to read and review the last chapter. I'm admittedly taking a bit of a chance with this instalment but I am hopeful that you'll keep an open mind. I've been fortunate enough to never have been in the position that Carol found herself before the ZA ensued, but I do think her past has played a large part in the dynamics of her relationship not just with Daryl, but with Rick and others from their group. We are all impacted by events in our lives and while Carol has come a long way, sometimes escaping those influences is easier said than done._

_I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank the lovely Ellie ( **oohhshiny, NuttyMcNut**) for giving her permission for me to use her latest and loveliest Caryl manip as the image for this story; as I told her, it could have been created with this fic in mind (though it wasn't), and I'm honoured beyond words that she let me post it here with my fic._

_Oh, and a warning - there are sexual situations ahead. Please, PLEASE don't bother reading if you are not a fan of the Caryl ship or if you just plain hate Carol. Go find some other story to read if that's the case; there is nothing to be gained from snarky comments about the loveliest and most graceful of female characters on the show._

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**Chapter 2**

Carol thought she'd finally been ready to let Daryl go. Leaving Terminus without looking back, without giving herself the chance to see him one last time, was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. If she'd have had to tell him to his face that she wasn't going to stay, her courage might have faltered and then nothing would have changed. And the new Carol – the woman she was now – understood that would have been far worse than the pain of leaving the man she loved for good.

After the Governor had fled and Woodbury was deserted, she'd gone on a few runs with Michonne to scavenge whatever supplies they could use for the growing prison population. On one such trip, Carol had wandered through the library to find some books to keep the younger kids entertained. As she'd made her way to the exit, she'd spotted a tome on one of the shelves about the legacy of domestic violence and on impulse had slipped it into the stack she was carrying.

During those few days when she found some time for herself, Carol read through a couple of the chapters, recognizing herself in far too many of the sections for her comfort. She'd thought with Ed's death, she would have left the impact of what he'd done to her far behind, but nothing was further from the truth. Although she wasn't afraid of being beaten up any more, she figured out that she still exhibited many of the characteristics she'd shown when she'd been with her husband. Insecurity and sense of low personal value... attempts to enhance that value by submitting easily and accepting tasks that others saw as being beneath them to either please them or keep the peace... willingness to accept the inconsistency of someone's attention in the hope of being eventually being loved.

Carol had been determined to break the cycle and set about changing how she approached each day. She resisted cooking and laundry detail, and instead became an ace shot and an accomplished medic. Although she still worked with the children from time to time, it was less about keeping them quiet and placated, and more about educating and empowering them. She joined the council, determined to help set the course for the group rather than meekly accept direction. And she learned to say no, something that would have been unthinkable even a year earlier.

The one aspect of her life that she hadn't altered was her relationship with Daryl, but in truth she didn't even try. The book might have spelled out the warning signs about unhealthy relationships in great detail, but she refused to see Daryl in the role of anything other than flawed hero. If he left for a run without first letting her know, she would simply tell herself that he was distracted by the potential dangers and was focusing his attention on the task at hand. If he sought out Michonne and Rick's company more often than hers, she chastised herself for being selfish and having no right to feel as if she was entitled to more. And if he only ever wanted to talk about himself and his concerns when they were together...well, she was just grateful that he felt comfortable enough around her to share the sort of feelings he'd never share with anyone else.

Because that's what love was supposed to be about – accepting the other person despite their faults, being supportive and caring, sacrificing whatever was necessary for their happiness. And he'd never hurt her, not once. Well, not on purpose and certainly not physically.

Even after she'd been banished and the prison had been decimated, she'd clung to her illusions. As she, Tyreese and the girls had made their way towards Terminus, Carol would check back over her shoulder from time to time, certain that Daryl would be searching for her, would want to know she was okay, would sweep her up in his arms when he finally found her and hold her as if never wanted to let her go again. She even left clear signs behind them – bits of paper, boot prints in the mud, whatever else she could think of – to make tracking her that much easier.

Discovering that he was at Terminus had been what finally tore away the veil and forced her to see her reality for what it was. Daryl was there, fighting right alongside Rick and almost everyone else from their group. He wasn't trying to track her down, he wasn't consumed with guilt and grief over not knowing what happened to her, he was just...there. He had accepted her loss and moved on, seemingly without a second thought.

And yet...had he come to her after the battle, had he wanted to talk and give her whatever excuses existed for not giving a fuck about the fate to which Rick had – with everyone else's support – abandoned her, she likely would have stayed. And that was a problem. _Her _problem.

She believed that she would always love Daryl, but whether he simply didn't harbour those same feelings for her or was incapable of loving any woman the way she needed to be loved, it no longer mattered. Nothing she could do was going to change who he was, but she _could_ change her own circumstances. For the sake of both her sanity and well-being, she'd decided that she had to leave Daryl and the group, and find her own way.

The first few hours away from Terminus had been agonizing but by the time she'd reached the clearing and stepped through the woods to see the picturesque falls, there was less sadness and a greater sense of relief than she would have expected. She'd made sure the area was clear of threats, and then stripped to her underwear and quickly did some laundry, hoping that she'd be able to camp at the pretty little site for a few days so she could collect her thoughts and decide which way she was headed. Keeping a careful eye on her supplies, she'd taken a long, decadent swim in the lukewarm pond and had discovered the secluded grotto behind the falls. It was a simple matter to secure her belongings in a few of the large water-tight garbage bags she kept in her pack and tow everything into the cavern so conveniently hidden by a wall of water.

She'd taken a quick but luxurious bath in the grotto, and then decided to go back out into the sunshine and make the most of her self-imposed solitude. It had taken every ounce of self-restraint Carol possessed not to scream obscenities and hurl stones in frustration when she saw Daryl on the bank watching her.

God help her, but she still wanted him! Wanted him to feel the same sort of whirlwind emotions that left her gasping with need when she thought about him, wanted him to be driven wild at the mere sight of her. And the reminder that he could reduce her to that level of desperation with no more than a look or a word made her angry and at that moment, she hated him almost as much as she loved him.

Rather than be put off by the cold reception she gave him, though, Daryl had refused to be turned away and had instead stubbornly followed her when she'd fled to what she thought was the safety of her rocky sanctuary.

He said he loved her and told her everything that she'd once so badly needed to hear. Admitted to his failings, begged for another chance, promised to prove himself – but she hadn't allowed herself to believe a word, not even when she'd given in to her interminable desire and returned his gentle kiss.

No, it wasn't until she felt the unexpected press of his thick, hot erection against her navel that she realized that he actually did _want_ her in the same way she wanted him. With any other man, she would have suspected that he was only interested in sex, but with Daryl she knew him well enough to understand that there was much more to his reaction than just a craving for physical release. For Daryl Dixon, his heart and body were inextricably intertwined; he could not give her one without the other.

And now she was in his arms, a place she'd only ever dared dream she'd occupy, and kissing him as though she was suffocating and he was the only source of air on the planet.

Carol reluctantly ended their hot, sublime kiss with a shaky breath. "Daryl," she murmured plaintively as she drew back, her voice trembling with emotion as she brushed the subtle curve of his bottom lip with her fingertips, "where were you?"

The glint of understanding in his eyes let her know that he realized she was asking him to explain far more than his disappearance after the attack on the prison. "Lost," he said softly. "I was lost and all messed up. But I know where I belong now and I ain't never gonna be without you again. I swear it."

"What changed?" she asked, still feeling raw and vulnerable. "Why now when for years...?"

Daryl cut her off with another soft, sweet kiss. "That you'd risk trying to make it alone out here rather than stay where I was – I figured I had to have done somethin' pretty awful to force you to do that. When I heard what you said out by the pond, the truth of it all finally hit me hard. Ain't never been so scared in my life as when you turned your back on me, but what was worse was finally getting that _I've_ been the one makin' you feel that way for a long time now."

The heartbreaking honesty of what he said made the back of her throat ache as she fought back her tears, and the last of her reservations dissolved like a sand castle in the rain. She smoothed her hands up over the length of his arms, smiling faintly at the play of muscles under her fingers. "Where do we go from here, then?"

His hold on her tightened and he tucked her against the firm planes of his body. "I think we both know where this is goin', don't we?" he said in a low, sultry voice.

When she looked up at his face, Carol saw that his expression had shifted from deep regret to stark desire and her heart began to pound. His pupils had grown large and black, and when she shifted her hips slightly, she felt him twitch heavily against the soft swell of her belly. The butterflies in her stomach instantly took flight and she shivered despite the warmth of the water flowing around her body.

"Touch me," she whispered, encircling his neck with her arms and pulling herself up until her lips grazed his again. "_Really_ touch me...I need to feel your hands all over me."

The hot possessiveness of his kiss sent flames dancing through her veins and she returned it with just as much hunger, feeding on him as though she was starving. He dragged his hands over the flare of her hips and up her ribcage, his fingertips rough and calloused against her soft, wet skin. Taking the weight of her breasts in his hands, he stroked his thumbs over her taut nipples slow and unhurriedly, and Carol moaned into his mouth as the muscles low in her pelvis tightened in delicious expectation.

She gave a sharp gasp of unexpected pleasure when he caught her nipples in between his knuckles and squeezed, the mild pain compounding her excitement. She arched against him, wordlessly demanding more. It was liberating, allowing sensation rather than thought guide her reactions, and she completely let go of her inhibitions in exchange for enjoying his attentions to the fullest.

Daryl gradually abandoned her breasts but continued to graze his fingers lightly over her skin, from the twin bows of her collarbone down the centre of her chest and then over her hips to linger on the globes of her ass. He drew back so he could stare down at her, his eyes hooded with lust. "I love seeing you like this," he growled, kneading the smooth flesh of her back side. "Goddamn, but you look gorgeous right now, all flushed and flustered that way. It's hot as all hell, knowin' I can do that to you."

Another surge of heat whipped through her and her hands began moving instinctively over his body, too, thrilling at the barely contained need that practically vibrated beneath his skin. "I've never been like this with any other man," she confessed bashfully. "You're the only who's ever had this effect on me."

"That's 'cuz you're _mine_," he purred against her temple, rubbing his whiskers teasingly over her cheek and licking at a bead of sweat that was trickling down from her hairline. "It was always meant to be for us."

She was sure it was just her imagination, but the air around them seemed to be growing warmer and more humid. More likely, though, it was the fire that he'd ignited when he made his intentions clear than anything else. His hands coasted up her back and then he was cupping her shoulders, turning her around until she was facing away from him. Carol frowned, uncertain what he was up to until she felt him thrust against her from behind and press his full, pulsing shaft between the part in her ass cheeks.

Having him tucked tightly against a place she'd never even allowed a man to touch her before was alarming to say the least, and the unfamiliar sensation completely stole away her very breath. Carol's heart raced so quickly that she actually felt faint but she didn't try to move away or ask him to stop. The truth was that while it felt strange, it was also incredibly erotic and more tempting that she would have ever thought possible. She could actually feel his shaft pulsing against her puckered flesh and she moaned as her clit began to throb in time to her heartbeat as her longing intensified.

He reached around her, one hand settling on her breast and one dipping down between her legs. As he ground himself against her, he strummed his fingers along her nether lips and brushed the engorged little nub at the top of her slit. "If we had time," he growled against her ear, his breath hot on her neck, "I'd take you both ways. Would you let me, my little vixen? Would you let me fuck you however I wanted?"

Her womb contracted hard and Carol's lids fluttered closed as her eyes rolled back. She jerked against his hand as he began to stroke her clit in tight, lazy circles and drew a tortured groan from his lips when she clenched the muscles of her ass and caught him fast. "We...we don't have time?" she gasped unsteadily, every inch of her aching with unabashed, unfulfilled need. "I mean, _yes. _God, yes..."

"Not right now," he rasped, biting at her shoulder and rolling her nipple between his thumb and finger at the same time. She whimpered and shook in his arms as the brief pain forced her to the very edge of climax, and then he was running his tongue over the spot where he'd nipped her and gently caressing her distended tip."You're too close as it is, and I'm almost there myself. No, this first time, I'm gonna be buried deep inside your slick puss so I can feel when you cum hard for me."

Carol should have been shocked to hear him talking that way to her – she'd never in a million years have guessed him capable of it, and she for sure never thought she'd be receptive to such language during sex. But every explicit promise was making her that much wilder and more impatient. "I'm ready...I need it now," she panted, writhing back against him until he hissed, the muscles in his thighs quivering against the back of hers as he fought for restraint.

He clasped her hips tightly and whirled her around, passion and love threatening to consume them both as their lips met again. Without breaking their kiss, he draped her arms around his neck and then hoisted her up in his arms. "Wrap your legs around my waist," he demanded gruffly, waiting until she complied before he stumbled through the water over to a spot where the smooth rock sloped gently beneath the surface. A tremor moved through Carol as she cradled him against her core, her body blossoming in readiness as he pinned her firmly against the incline.

When he flipped his hair back out of his face and met her gaze again, Carol saw a flash of doubt in his impassioned eyes. "I need you so bad, it hurts...too bad to make this slow and sweet like you deserve, babe," he said desperately, his chest heaving.

She swivelled her hips, sliding her sex along his straining length. He gasped loudly, his fingers sinking into the softness of her thighs. "I'm not interested in taming you," she vowed with growing urgency, crossing her calves behind his ass and coaxing him forward. "I _like_ this wild side of you – and I love that you can't control yourself when you're with me. It's going to be good, however we do it. Gentle or rough, Daryl...just please, take me now..."

With a mutual shift of their positions, he began to work himself into her, swearing under his breath as the blunt head of his cock slid past her narrow opening and then again as she writhed beneath him, her sheath stretching almost painfully as he sank further inside of her. The water had prevented her from seeing much of him from the waist down, but he was clearly much better endowed than she'd anticipated. With a feral growl, he suddenly drove himself in her to the hilt and she cried out, clutching helplessly the wall of stone behind her as the overwhelming feeling of being utterly and completely filled robbed her of her senses.

Daryl slipped his hands up beneath her shoulders, cushioning her as he began to thrust against her with a swift, jarring rhythm. He tucked his head into the crook of her neck, primal grunts escaping from low in his throat as he rode her hard. She tightened herself around him with each withdrawal and felt him shudder in response as she forced him to prolong each exquisite downward stroke. It was more profound than she ever could have imagined, having him mark her from within, feeling him delve more deeply into her body than she would have thought possible.

"Fuck, Carol...fuck...you're so goddamned tight, so hot..." he moaned, his fingers digging into her shoulders and his breath hitting her skin in hot, uneven bursts as their hips collided again and again. "I ain't gonna last like this..."

Glorious tension coiled deep inside her but through the velvety haze of bliss, it suddenly struck Carol that she'd left something unsaid, something she needed to share before she was too far gone to remember. "Daryl...I love you...I love you, too..." she keened, a single tear slipping from the corner of her eye as her heart swelled to the point of bursting. Daryl was hers...he was finally hers...they belonged to one another.

He uttered a sound then that to Carol seemed like some great, wounded creature being set free from a trap. His pace faltered for a moment and his back bowed as though he'd been side-swiped by his own emotions. Within a few seconds, though, he recovered his composure once more and found his tempo again, rocking her harder than ever as he chased his release with renewed vigour.

The first swelling ripple took her by surprise, and then her orgasm hit her with a sudden intensity that left her convulsing around him. Her powerful climax went on and on, crashing over her like rogue waves as he continued to pound into her, and her fierce screams of pleasure echoed off the wet, glistening walls that surrounded them.

Only seconds later, Daryl snarled with savage satisfaction and bucked against her as he surrendered to his own rapture, anointing her from within with long, hot spurts of his seed. His eyes were squeezed tightly closed as he emptied himself into her, and she fought to get one single breath into her own burning lungs as he collapsed against her in sated happiness.

They clung together, the two of them, holding one another as their hearts slowed and the water in which they were still partially submerged cooled their fevered bodies. Carol combed her fingers through Daryl's damp hair and brushed his brow with her lips, wanting the afterglow to last forever.

There was no longer any doubt in her mind that she and Daryl would be inseparable from this point forward; what they'd done had been a consummation, every bit as sacred and official in both their minds that they might as well have been pronounced man and wife in a pretty white wedding chapel.

What concerned Carol, though, was what Daryl's reaction was going to be when she told him she had no intention of returning to Terminus to rejoin their group. Even worse, she worried that she might not have the strength to deny him if he begged her to do so despite her objections.

If she had a weak spot, it was Daryl Dixon. And unfortunately, acknowledging that fact wasn't going to make her decisions any easier.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you for the marvelous reviews, cherished readers! I was going to leave this story at two chapters, but it called out for resolution and so here it is. I greatly appreciate the folks who stuck with me through this and some of my other stories that deal with less than pleasant subject matter - they were a thrill to write, even if they aren't everyone's cup of tea._

_And now, here is the final chapter, this time from Rick's point of view._

* * *

**Chapter 3**

The sun was sinking behind the horizon when Rick reluctantly came to terms with the fact that Daryl was probably gone for good.

He'd known even before he tried to stop Daryl from following Carol that the effort would be futile, but Rick had promised her before she'd left that he'd do what he could to discourage the pursuit. It was the least he owed her after what he'd put her through, even if he'd ended up getting his ass kicked in the attempt.

It had taken some shockingly disturbing close calls on his way to Terminus, but Rick had finally come to understand why Carol had done what she had at the prison. They all needed to do whatever was necessary in order to survive, however distasteful and unthinkable such actions might have been prior to the rise of the walkers. That fact became more than clear to him when he'd had to rip a man's throat out with his teeth in order to save Carl and Michonne.

She was protecting her family in the only way she knew how, and while it had seemed cold and calculating at the time, Rick now saw that the only way Carol had been able to put down Karen and David had been to separate herself as best she could from her emotions. He'd also found out from discussions with Tyreese that those deaths rested heavily on her heart and likely would for as long as she lived. Carol had already paid a steep price for her decision when Rick had appointed himself judge, jury and executioner and exiled her, and that was something he was going to have to carry on his conscience from here on in.

Even if she hadn't kept Judith from harm after the fall of the prison and returned his daughter safely to him, Rick would still have asked her forgiveness and encouraged her to rejoin the group. Carol had made up her mind following the fight at Terminus that she needed to move on, though, and in the end he had no choice but to respect her decision. When they'd parted, it had been far harder to say that last goodbye than either of them had expected.

The fact that Daryl hadn't returned shouldn't have come as a surprise. The relationship between Rick's most trusted lieutenant and the lovely widow had been evolving for a long time, the chemistry between them unmistakable to everyone around them even if neither had been able to find the courage to follow through on it. Although Carol now seemed to believe that bond had been irreparably broken, Daryl clearly hadn't received the memo and after punching Rick out for trying to stand in his way, he'd been hard on her trail. Maybe that was all it took in the end for her to find forgiveness in her heart for whatever transgressions Daryl had committed – him coming for her when she believed the situation hopeless.

At least, he _hoped_ that a reunion between the two was the explanation for Daryl's absence. He couldn't bring himself to believe that something less pleasant might have befallen the archer or his lady. Both had the skills and the fortitude to survive most dangers they'd encounter, but he'd have said the same thing for many of the people they'd already lost.

Rick sighed and finished cleaning his service revolver, preparing for whatever the morning would bring. They were going to set out at dawn for Washington DC to see if there was anyone there who could make sense of whatever breakthrough the scientist Eugene doggedly insisted he'd made. Without Daryl, the trip would be that much more dangerous, but at this point their options were limited. The next phase of their journey was about to begin, bringing with it the faint hope that the world in which he was raising his children might yet be set to rights.

He was preparing to lock the gates for the night when he caught a shift in the shadows at the edge of the tree line. Squinting through the growing purple gloom, he cocked the hammer on his piece and aimed in the general vicinity of where he'd seen movement. When he realized it was Daryl emerging from the woods, followed closely behind by Carol, he lifted his finger off the trigger and slowly let go the anxious breath he'd been holding.

The last rays of the sun cut across the couple's path, but it didn't take Rick much light to see that something fundamental had changed between the two of them. He smiled to himself as he watched them walk side-by-side, clasping one another's fingers loosely and stealing lingering glances as they approached the sentry point. When they finally spotted Rick waiting for them, Daryl reluctantly released her hand and stepped forward, his eyes wary as he put himself squarely between Rick and Carol.

"I'm glad you came back, both of you," Rick said, keeping a careful distance for the moment.

Daryl squinted at him suspiciously. "We ain't here for long. Gotta get some rest, grab the last of my stuff, then we'll be goin' our own way in the mornin'."

Rick nodded solemnly, feeling as though his heart had been kicked. "I don't suppose there's anything I could say to get you to reconsider," he said, closing and padlocking the gates behind them. Daryl bristled slightly as Rick got a bit too close to Carol for his liking, but she placed a calming hand on Daryl's shoulder and gave him a soft, reassuring smile.

"Can't see why we would," Daryl said gruffly, his shoulders relaxing slightly under Carol's touch. "Some stuff is pretty fuckin' hard to forgive, don't ya think? Carol an' me – _we_ – think we'd be better off taking our own path from here on in."

"Daryl," she said quietly. "There are a few things I need to clear up with Rick before we call it a night. Could you give us ten minutes? I'll come find you right after."

Daryl's eyes widened slightly in surprise at her request, but after a few seconds he finally nodded. He gave Rick a glare of warning before he turned to take his leave, pausing when he'd gone only a few feet and turning back. He reached for Carol and hauled her up against him before kissing her with possessive thoroughness that had her slumping in his embrace. A faint whimper escaped Carol's throat as her arms cinched tightly around Daryl's shoulders, and Rick politely averted his gaze and coughed. The kiss was as much as message as it was a gesture of love and affection; Daryl was more or less claiming her in full view, silently letting Rick know that Carol's status had changed and that the leader had better not push his luck when it came to Daryl's woman.

Daryl released her almost as abruptly as he'd seized her, giving her one last dark, hungry look before he whirled and stalked his way over to the main warehouse. Once he'd shouldered his way through the doors and disappeared, Carol finally looked at Rick and shrugged apologetically. "I guess you've figured out what's happened," she said, her face flushed and her eyes glinting with happiness.

Rick gave her a crooked grin. "About damned time, too. It's good, Carol. It's what you both need." His smiled faded slightly. "I'm sorry that I messed things up between you two in the first place. I hurt him every bit as badly as I hurt you when I sent you away, y'know. He really did think you were dead and it damn near killed him."

Carol looked at her feet and nodded. "We talked. Had a couple of hours walking, heard him say more in that time than he'd done in the past few years."

He ducked his head so he could catch her eye again. "But you didn't tell him that you and me had made our peace. Or that you asked me to stop him from coming after you."

For the first time, she seemed to notice his black eye and bruised lips, and she winced slightly. "I made it pretty clear when he found me that I wasn't happy about it, and he figured out the 'why' of it all on his own. But no, I didn't tell him that I asked you to keep him from following. And to be perfectly honest, Rick, I don't feel all that bad about what he did. I guess I sort of figure you owed it to both of us."

Rick chuckled and shook his head. "I guess maybe you're right about that. In that case, I'm damned lucky I didn't get worse."

She arched an eyebrow at him and smiled. "He was in a hurry to find me, or I suspect you may well have."

Taking a deep, bracing breath, Rick grew serious again. "Tell me why you're leaving. Why you think the two of you would be better off alone out there."

"What happened is never going to just go away or be forgotten, is it?" she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "There will always be those who look at me with suspicion and condemnation for what happened at the prison despite what Tyreese might say. It's hard enough to live with everything I've had to do, but being here with all of you...it would be a constant reminder. I'll never forget it but I need to start looking forward, trying to live beyond those awful choices I had to make. As for Daryl," she added regretfully, "I know it's going to hurt the group, not having him here. But I didn't make him come after me, Rick. I didn't force him to choose me over you. He made that choice on his own."

"I asked you when you arrived and I'll ask again...is there any way you'd reconsider? Yeah, you're right – I don't want to lose Daryl, but I don't want to lose you either. Where we're going, what we're attempting to do, we're going to need soldiers. And along with Michonne, you two are the strongest, smartest warriors we have on our side." Rick paused, sensing she was at least listening to what he was saying. "We need to get to Washington; it might be the last chance we have to fix what this virus – or whatever it is – has done to the world. I just don't know if we can do that without you and Daryl. I'm not blowing smoke up your ass here; I'm telling you the God's honest truth."

"You might trust me, Rick, but you can't say the same for the others," she countered, pressing her hand to her forehead and sighing wearily. "What about Maggie? Sasha, Michonne, Bob...Glenn? Having me with the group is going to lead to all sorts of tension, and that's going to come back and haunt us if we're caught in a tight spot."

Rick let him feel a glimmer of hope that she hadn't outright refused. "I'm gonna lay it on the line for everyone, take full responsibility for a shitty decision and back your play. You have more support than you know, Carol. Maggie and Sasha might be a bit reluctant but everyone else is firmly on your side, including Glenn and Ty. We're a family; even with all we've been through, we'll work through our problems and be stronger for it. At least give us a chance – if after a week you really don't think it's going to work out, then you and Daryl can go on your way and I won't say a thing to stop you. Please."

Carol took a few steps away from him and stared up into the violet dusk, the first stars peeking through the velvety softness of the sky. "I'll talk to Daryl and see what he thinks. He never really wanted to leave but once I told him I wasn't coming back, that was that." She turned back to him, giving him a frank look. "I'm not making any promises and I'm not going to manipulate him into changing his mind. We'll sleep on it and let you know what we're going to do in the morning."

Rick gave her a sly sideways glance. "You're gonna _sleep_?"

She laughed then, a light happy sound that Rick hadn't heard in a very long time. "Eventually," she answered, her eyes glittering knowingly.

"You're willing to discuss it; that's all I can ask," he said, holding his hands up guilelessly. "You'd better go find Daryl now. If we talk much longer, he's going to think something is up and I don't have it in me to take another beating."

The humour faded from her face, and she sidled up close to Rick. Her crystal-blue eyes held his attention as she regarded him coolly from beneath her eyelashes. "If you ever fuck me over again, Rick Grimes, trust me – what Daryl Dixon will do to you will be the least of your worries."

Carol turned and followed after Daryl, leaving Rick on his own beside the gates with his mouth hanging open. As he watched her depart, he shook his head and eventually smiled ruefully to himself. He'd made the mistake of underestimating Carol for the last time but with any luck, future adversaries would not be so wise. Having her and Daryl back in the fold made him feel that although they might still be figuratively surrounded in darkness, the days ahead were looking a little bit brighter.

~fin~


End file.
